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без порно, жести. желательно английский/юмор/текстовик

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offensive humor
Дек. 20, 2021, 11:12
What do you call a black American muslim woman? Pretty much anything you like & it will get voted up.

#racism
offensive humor
Дек. 19, 2021, 11:12
When the paramedics took away the corpse of my baby girl, battered, bruised and raped to death...I wept shamelessly...The police handcuffed me before i had the chance to ejaculate

#sexandshit
offensive humor
Ноя. 13, 2021, 16:11
This is getting out of hand now.

Every morning since Monday, a German Shepherd has come to my garden and had a shit on the lawn.

Guess what happened today.

The cheeky cunt brought his dog with him.

#other
offensive humor
Окт. 19, 2021, 11:10
I met a girl in a club last night, after a few drinks she asked if I would like to go back to her place for sex, I didn't want to disappoint her, So I said "No".

#sexandshit
offensive humor
Окт. 18, 2021, 11:10
Women's orgasms are like opinions.

Mine's more important and I don't care if she has one.

#sexism
offensive humor
Окт. 17, 2021, 11:10
My stalker just threatened to kill herself if I didn't love her back.

It's nice when problems resolve themselves like that.

#other
offensive humor
Окт. 16, 2021, 11:10
A lot of people tell me when they drink coffee they can't sleep.
I have the same problem but the other way around, when I sleep I can't drink coffee

#food
offensive humor
Окт. 15, 2021, 11:10
My dream is to be a UFC star like Ronda Rousey
I wanna beat women for money.

#other
offensive humor
Окт. 14, 2021, 11:10
I dropped the soap in the prison shower today.

A big nigger, with a cock like a python, handed it back to me.

"Nice try, you ugly cunt," he said.

#sexandshit
offensive humor
Окт. 13, 2021, 11:10
Today I woke up to oral sex.
And that is the danger of sleeping with your mouth open on the subway.

#sexandshit
offensive humor
Окт. 12, 2021, 11:10
'Let me down, let me down,' laughed my son as I ran around with him on my shoulders.

So I left the next day and haven't been back.

#other
offensive humor
Окт. 11, 2021, 11:10
I just left my girl hanging on the telephone.



Made it look like suicide.

#wordplay
offensive humor
Окт. 10, 2021, 11:10
Don't you hate it when you wake up from a night on the piss, look in the mirror and see the words " I LOVE COCK " written on your forehead? Especially when you've been drinking alone at home!

#other
offensive humor
Окт. 10, 2021, 00:10
If you want to save money this Christmas, now is the perfect time to tell the kids that Santa didn't make it through the pandemic.

#other
offensive humor
Окт. 3, 2021, 11:10
Dads are like boomerangs.

I hope.

#other
offensive humor
Окт. 2, 2021, 11:10
I've been sleeping with this girl who's a cage fighter.

Sorry about that, I meant "caged fighter," in my basement.

#sexandshit
offensive humor
Сен. 29, 2021, 11:09
I encountered a milf at a bar last night.

Although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy.

We were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time.

Then, she asked me flirtatiously, "have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?"

I said, "Nope, not yet".

She drank a little more, and said, "well, darling, tonight is your lucky night."

So she took me to her place.

She took out her keys, opens her door, turn on the light and she yells towards upstairs, "Mom, are you still awake?”

#sexandshit
offensive humor
Сен. 28, 2021, 11:09
Woman: Can you arrest me for calling you a filthy name?

Police Officer: "Yes"

Woman: Can you arrest me for thinking something.?

Police Officer: "No"

Woman: I think you're a cunt.

#oldbutgold
offensive humor
Сен. 27, 2021, 11:09
I had sex with my teacher, when I was in high school.
It didn't make me cool or popular.

Nobody was giving me high five or something,
when I was telling them about it.

And all that just because I was homeschooled.

#sweethomealabama
offensive humor
Сен. 26, 2021, 11:09
My wife is just like the Liverpool goalie Karius.

I thought she was a keeper until I found out she couldn't handle balls properly.

#celebrities